VIDEO GAME REVIEW: FINAL FANTASY TYPE 0

Final Fantasy Type 0 was a game from the very early days of the PS4/X-Box One. In fact, it came in a package with the excellent Bloodborne with the PS4 console. Set in the Final Fantasy world, it follows a class of magic users (class 0) as they defend their nation from a mechanical nation that invades them.

This is the very definition of an early game in the consoles life, being more a tech demo. Many of the ideas presented here were refined and done better in Final Fantasy 15. From the real-time map-based combat to the overworld movement that lacks details or a map to tell you locations, all these elements have been refined down the line.

Add to this is the long wait times between areas. Rather than seamlessly moving between areas or minimising your transitions, there is an annoying number of loading screens as you move room to room or area to area. This makes the gameplay feel exceptionally slow and ponderous, which isn't helped by the random encounters and repetitive combat encounters.

When you also consider that the story is over-convoluted and not very engaging, this game unfortunately should be a pass. If you want a game done similar, Final Fantasy 15 is the obvious candidate for a replacement. It feels a little harsh as it is a bit of a product of the time, but that didn't stop Bloodborne being excellent.

1.5 out of 5 final stars. 

BOARD GAME REVIEW: RESCUE POLAR BEARS

Rescue: Polar Bears is a board game that was delivered on Kickstarter a little while ago. This game is a co-operative game that has a really cool theme: you are trying to rescue polar bears and get data from the polar caps on global warming before the temperature rises too much or the polar bears get stranded.

While there are some abstractions with the theme (i.e. the time scale of temperature changes and the scales of time), the theme is very refreshing and unique. Most the actions and your goals fit the theme very well. You are moving around, saving bears, collecting data, and trying to keep a lid on the ice melting.

This isn't a co-operative game that is hard. There are some variants and modules that help to increase the difficulty, but you will win most the games on the basic game. This isn't a bad thing, as each game it feels like you have plenty of freedom on how to proceed with what feels like multiple options of what to do on your turn. You can also up your starting level to increase difficulty if desired.

This is a cool co-op where you have options and a nice theme. The components are also really good, with little bear figures and nice ships that all look different and play differently with their player powers. This is a game I would definitely recommend.

4 out of 5 polar waffles.

TV SERIES REVIEW: VOLTRON (SEASON 1)

The new season of Voltron is a reboot of the old Voltron series. In this series, Voltron is a giant powerful robot that is formed by 5 robotic lions. It is also the last hope of the universe in the war to keep the universe from beig enslaved by the all-powerful big bad.

The basic story is that a group of 5 earthlings are chosen by Voltron to be its pilot. Voltron is the last hope of a universe that is nearly enslaved. They are the new paladins, each one piloting a lion that is a part of Voltron. Each lion brings its own unique weapons and each pilot has their own personality.

The show is good. Suprisingly good. Each pilot is a character that has some depth. It also helps that Voltron isn't all powerful, instead being regularly challenged and even outmatched by a variety of foes. It also avoids the Power Rangers trap of having every episode end in Voltron forming and winning. Instead, Voltron is only brought out on special occasions. 

The only downside is that some of the interesting characteristics of characters tend to erode over time. For example, the yellow lion was a mechanical genius and the green lion a computer genius. However, soon the yellow lion does less mechanical engineering and the green lion 

All up, this is a good series. It is a good reboot of a series and has so far avoided most the traps of these types of series. It is definitely something I would recommend checking out.

4 out of 5 lionic waffles.

TV SERIES REVIEW: TROLLHUNTER SEASON 3

So the third season of Trollhunter has come around. After an enjoyable first two seasons and a nice cliffhanger for the future, this season had allot to live up to. And if I could think of one word to describe this season, I would say- rushed. 

This season felt rushed. From rushed reveals and resolutions to simply dropping plot threads that weren’t convenient, this didn’t feel like the epic ending to (at least) this chapter of Trollhunter. 

There are big changes to the status quo, but outside of one big choice, everything else felt very one-dimensional. It almost feels like he creators were getting bored of the premise and decided to rush through ththe ending to work on other projects. The best way to describe it is serviceable. 

The animation is still good, mostly. The voice acting was very hit and miss. There were several key scenes where the voice acting sounded painfully flat and devoid of emotion. Once again, it is towards he back end of the season, increasing the impression of just rushing through it. 

At he end of the day, this season is serviceable. It is a drop in standards from the first two seasons and feels rushed out. Read the wiki to get the major story points and save the time. 

1.5 out of 5 hunted waffles. 

BOARD GAME REVIEW: KINGDOMINO

So Kingdomino is a game by Blue Orange. After Photosynthesis, a game I enjoy immensely, does this game continue its tradition.  The answer is yes and no. 

Kingdomino uses domino style mechanics. On your turn, you draft tiles. The tricks are that you want big areas and also crowns, as these are points multipliers. However I said plural, because the better your tile, the worse position you are in turn order next round. 

Kingdomino definitely is in the filler category of games. It has a couple of rules, plays quickly, and you can easily play several quick games in a row. It also has enough choices and depth to make it fell fulfilling, like Splendor or similar games. 

The main reason that it fails is that there is not enough depth after repeat plays. After a few games, you are left feeling like each game play similar. I am not sure about Queendomino, but maybe something like goal cards or a global rule change (similar to Sagrada or Kokodo) would work well to keep the game a bit fresher. 

So there it is. It is a good game. However, it could’ve been a great game with a bit more in box variety. Blue Orange have a hit, but it falls a bit below those evergreen games that are available at the moment. 

3.5 out of 5 falling waffles. 

ANIME REVIEW: B THE BEGINNING (SEASON 1)

B The Beginning is an anime currently available on Netflix. It is in the genre of mystery-thriller-esque anime, with characters movig through the stories and a central mystery surrounding it all that ties into everything.

The story follows the main characters of a police force (Royal Investigation Service) that is tasked with solving a string of murders by Killer B. Its main character is Keith, a detective genius. During this investigation, they uncover twists and turns that threaten far more than anyone initially thought.

Without spoiling too much, the main mysteries of the show keep the action enthralling. From how the mysteries are tied together to the impact the characters have, the storyline is very engaging. Although it sometimes falls into anime tropes, watching the story play out is very engaging.

The actual animation is also very good. The fights have a sense of visceral weight to them, and the audios also match here. The characters voices sound like they should match the characters personalities, which is always good. There isn't too much to fault with the presentation of the anime. 

One of the flaws is potentially the characters. Some of the characters and plots arcs are put together too fast or thrown by the wayside in the service to the story. A little more room to breathe would be good. The other thing, which is more off-putting, is that it often tries to do some slapstick or comedy. Sometimes this works, but more often than not it is jarring as the tension in a scene is quickly dissipitated. 

Overall, except for these minor flaws, this is an anime that I would recommend. A solid mystery thriller, this is unlikely to leave you disappointed. 

4 out of 5 B-Class Waffles. 

TV SHOW REVIEW: TROLLHUNTER (PART 1 and PART 2)

Trollhunter is a Netflix series by Guillermo Del Toro. In it, this sees a young high school student (Jay) become chosen by an amulet of power to command daylight and hunt trolls. All of this is going around his normal high-school life including bully-problems, the girl he likes, etc.

First things first, the animation is really good. There is a real sense of movement and technique to what people do. This doesn't go the route of Dragonball, with the "faster than light" movement things, but instead you are always given a sense of the environment and how each character fights. The lithe characters feel fast, while trolls feel brawny.

The storyline begins with the normal high-school hero story. However, along the way, there are several small twists and turns to it. Although Netflix calls it Parts 1 and 2, there are probably 3 seasons of a normal animated show in here. Each character, although starting as an archetype, has more going on under the surface than first appears.

My only criticism of the show is that it has all to noticeable moments of idiocy by the characters to progress the episode plot, or delay the end of the episode to meet the time quota. This includes regressions by the characters. Thankfully, these are more to do with the threat of the week and don't often affect the overarching global story.

The other thing is the few genuine moments that bring out the feels often are undone quite quickly after. I know it is a kids show, but some actions should be shown to have consequences that stick. These moments sometimes make you face-palm with the moment they have undone.

However, they are only minor complaints. It is a bit of a slow boil to get started until you get to know the depths of the characters a bit more. However, if you have time, I would recommend this.

4 out of 5 rocky waffles.

ANIMATED MOVIE REVIEW: JUSTICE LEAGUE: THRONE OF ATLANTIS (2015)

Justice League: War was an animated reboot of the Justice League that I really enjoyed. It did have its problems but for the most part, I thought it set up an interesting premise for the new Justice League. And then Throne of Atlantis realised the worst of its potential.

Throne of Atlantis is set after War and the formation of the Justice League. It starts with Cyborg acting less human and getting rid of some of his human parts. This amounts to absolutely nothing and has no bearing on the story at all. Also, his doctor is also his love interest. This is another problem as every female character is depicted as a love interest to a Male Character (Wonder Woman and Lois Lane for Superman; Aquaman’s Atlantean protector) who end up getting with the guy as part of the quest rewards.

Anyway, this movie has allot more issues than being completely chauvinistic. Aquaman is a super-powered person getting drunk and talking to fish (one-way) and getting into bar fights. The Atlantean prince wants to wipe out humanity. He kills his mother, steals here trident and frames surface dwellers for it. How he frames her is never explained as an Atlantean knife is used to kill her and there were no surface dwellers around at that time.

Anyway, this magic trident is apparently much more powerful than the whole Justice League combined, except for Batman. Everyone also acts like brainless brutes, except for Batman. Batman has to lecture them through a crime scene. And yeah, the whole movie is a Batman-love letter as he seems to be the only one capable of thinking. And he is the leader of the Justice League.

Spoilers: By the end of the movie Aquaman accepts his heritage (taking his Atlantean guard os his queen) and has a trident apparently more powerful than the whole Justice League put together (which makes them redundant with him on the team). This complete change of character is presented through so much disinterested voice acting and pretty average animation that it all feels phoned in.

Don’t even get me started on how the Justice League slaughters Atlanteans who were tricked into war, the Atlantean army being immune to guns and the army but can be taken down by a normal person hitting them with a club, or how Aquaman develops powers as the plot demands.

This animated movie is horrible. It is Batman V Superman bad. Don’t see it unless you love Batman and can’t bother waiting for Goth-Movie-Aquaman.

0 out of 5 water-soaked waffles.

ANIME REVIEW: HUNTER x HUNTER (FIRST 15 EPISODES)

Hunter x Hunter is a really good show so far. It follows the story of a group of students (Gon as the main character, a 12-year old boy) as they go through an exam to become Hunters (an elite police force). During this trial, they are put to the test by the examiners and other students. Oh, and there are giant monsters and magic powers.

Hunter has a good cast of heroes, a villain who they are building up well and an interesting story premise. The characters are an interesting mix of typical tropes with twist and humanity to keep them interesting and wanting to see where they go. Even the side characters have unique powers and looks to make it interesting.

The animation is also beautiful in this. The colours and fighting is vibrant. Although there is some teleportation style combat, it fits in with the theme of the show. Everything about this show is nice. It is highly recommended and I hope it continues to be as good for the remainder of the series.

5 out of 5 Hunted Waffles.

The Inbetweeners 2

As a massive fan of all 3 series and the first film, I couldn't wait for this. The relatively laugh-free trailer cause me to think “Do we really need a sequel ”. That idea lodge itself into my brain, as the marketing machine started pumping its release, I was losing my interest in wasting my money on it. I’m glad I didn't end up paying to see this stinker.

The film is slow to start, too, with a overly stylised opening setting, where three of our central quartet are set up for uncomfortable misery. Will hates university, Simon’s girlfriend is crazy and  Neil...well Neil is Neil. Not until the reintroducing Jay as a kind of superstar DJ-cum-Scarface, it a fantasy sequence that is deliberately overdone, easily the funniest part of the movie. That’s about 10mins in.

Eventually they make it to Australia.Where the movie spends too much time  setting up borning peripheral characters and relying on stereotypical backpacker perceptions. It was just so dull dull dull, I  even drifted off into a daydream half way through the film. Its really annoying as i love this show, the sequel feels like a cheap throwaway to earn a some extra cash and have a holiday.

As a fan I felt it failed to deliver this was just a crude bland imitation.  What made the TV show so brilliant was the how witty and clever it was. Had lots of great awkward moments that you could empathise with. However the sequel seems to just try and recreate that rather than try and be original in its own right, and as such just leaves a bit of a sour taste in the mouth.  Shame as I was looking forward to watching the four of them together again,  what I got where 4 lobotomized idiots.  

1 out of 5 sunburnt bus wankers.

Snowpiercer

 Snowpiercer greatest asset is it simplicity. Yet under its straightforward plot is a political statement about class structure. In the near future climate change has turned our Earth into a super happy ice world. Humanities remaining survivor are now stuck circling the Earth in Thomas the Tank engine. Each carriage section has be broken into poor, middle class and rich. Our hero Captain America (Chris Evan)  must lead the huddled masses at the back to the front and overthrow the upper class.

The movie is broken into video game-esque levels. Before each level Curtis (Captain America) receives a cryptic messages about what's ahead.

Before the poor can begin there revolt they must free former head of security, Namgoong (Song Kang-ho).They need  his ability to unlock the gates ahead to progress.  

Each section is a wonderment of production and thought from a brainwashed children's classroom to a fully-fledged aquarium, one of the true joys of the film is seeing what awaits our revellers behind each unlocked door. Along the way they encounter Minister Mason, Tilda Swinton doing her best Margaret Thatcher impression. Her only job is to be puppet that moves the chessboard around for her mysterious boss Wilford. The rest of the cast brings this small-scale depiction of society to life with an array of different human conditions.

Snowpiercer was a brutal,crazy ride that left you thinking. Go in with an open mind and have a really long think about how you can compare it to the world today.

3.5 upper class train waffles out of 5

Scott Pilgrim versus the World

Way back in 2010 the movie I was most hyped about was Scott Pilgrim versus the World. Now 4 years later on a rainy afternoon I dusted of the DVD (I loved the movie so much I bought it) and settled down to watch it.

I felt like it was the perfect time to review the movie. It has been a good few years since its release now and I feel I can judge this movie better now I’m not wearing my special hyper coloured fanboy glasses. Within the first few minutes, I was completely hooked all over again. Watching the camera slowly track backwards as the Sex Bom-omb rocked out. I was drawn into this crazy canadian romantic comedy.

Scott Pilgrim is a young adult that still looks like a teenager. He’s an insecure guy and guitarist who plays in a rock band called Sex Bom-omb and is going out with a minor high-school Chinese girl, Knives. Life seems pretty content for Scott until he has a dream about a girl. She happens to appear in his real world in the form of Ramona, the ever-changing-hair-colour American recently moved to Toronto. Scott is over the moon, but he has to face his own personal demons, break up with sweet Knives and fight for Ramona's love against her seven ex’s.

Scott Pilgrim is still one of the most refreshing movies even since in release. The movie is cute, funny, entertaining, has great characters, a terrific soundtrack and stunning visuals. The story is all about the difficultness of relationships. What made the comic and the movie stand out is how its all masqueraded by the video-game approach.

Unlike many other movies like Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. Scott Pilgrim focus on the emotional challenges of very young people, sex is not the focus, although it does not avoid it either. The movie focuses on how difficult it is to make a relationship work when you fall in love with people who already have emotional baggage and you are insecure about yourself. Scott's fights against Ramona's ex’s are just a metaphoric way of putting it.

Moreover, the emotions of the girl are not the focus here, but the emotions of a young man who is not obsessed with sex. This makes it a rarity among the coming-of-age movie genre being about a man in a relationship. How do you get a girl who has an emotional baggage when you are not an over-confident guy, your dream girl is uber-cool, and her ex’s seem like really brilliant guys compared to you? This unfortunately pushes Ramona's feelings and actions to the background, especially towards the end, as she just becomes an object for the men to fight over.

It’s only now that I’ve grown up more since it’s initial release that I can see more of the nuances that make Scott Pilgrim such a amazing movie.

All the actors are great in their roles:Michael fits the role of Scott perfectly, Ellen Wong is perfectly cast as Knives and Mary does a great job as Ramona. The other members of Sex Bom-omb put in a great performance, from the snarky Kim, the shy Young and the 'our band is the greatest' Stephen. But it’s Kieran Culkin that shines as Scott's confident, grounded gay friend Wallace Wells.

Scott Pilgrim vs the World movie is not only well done but done with passion, a project cherished by the whole team and by director Edgar Wright. The movie still has a freshness, soul and a special something that is still there even after not watching it for a few years.

4.5/5 waffles of epic epicness !!

THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL

 Quirky,charming, oddball and a little bit dark are all ways to describe Wes Anderson new flick The Grand Budapest Hotel. Really it should have be titled the Grand Adventures of Gustave H and his sexy mo. For the most part thats exactly what the movie is, it just didn't live up to the movie my mind created from the trailers.

The story is. Gustave H., a legendary concierge at a famous Grand Budapest hotel is accused of murder of a rich old lady. Who bequeathed him a  priceless Renaissance painting . This lead to a battle with the family over her will - all against the back-drop of a dramatically changing continent. While being the story is being recounted by  Zero Moustafa, the lobby boy who becomes his most trusted friend.

All that sounds pretty much like a wonderful misadventure with Gustave H. But its more convoluted than it needs to be, also the focus is much more on Zero the lobby boy. I found Zero to be like a cardboard cutout with a drawn on mustache. Only really because Ralph Fiennes embodies Gustave H with so much lovable charm that every character around him become a one dimensional  pieces of driftwood.

The plot is merely a mechanism that allows Anderson to transport his vision onto the screen, a vision of a peculiar world seemingly different from our own, but filled with just as much loss and, at the same time, human compassion as ours. There is comedy, but its either very subtle or incredibly over the top.  I would technically describe it as a detective comedy, that's been dipped into nostalgia with a hint of bittersweetness longing for an age long past. Anderson unique film styling helps to bring the world of the Grand Budapest to life. The colours, the camera movement that switches between different parts of the set, the music, the lens angle distortion, absolutely ridiculous CGI is used perfectly to add some surrealism to the movie.

Really I just wanted to spend more time with Gustave H in The Grand Budapest rather then watching him escape a prison or ride several trains. The hotel itself is a character thats never truly explored. Don't think the movie spend really much time at The Grand Budapest. Still it was an enjoyable adventure with the charming concierge Gustave H.
 




2 and half quick witted comeback waffles out of 5.

The Girl With All Gifts

The Girl With All Gifts opens just like the title. There's a girl. She seems pretty smart and may well be gifted. Her name is Melanie and she appears initially to be much like any other child. She goes to school, she has a favourite teacher and she enjoys stories. There's just one big difference. Melanie lives in an underground army base. Every morning she is muzzled and strapped into a wheelchair. Along with the other children that live at the base, they’re tested to see what information is retained and understood. Carey tantalisingly drip feeds information, keeping the real truth hidden for a considerable amount of time. You're drawn into the strange world that Melanie inhabits.

Melanie is presents as innocent and alone, struggling to understand the cold and hostile environment she regards as home. Carey controls the reveal skilfully, so when it's revealed, you're already completely sucked into the story and wholeheartedly cheering Melanie on.

Then the narrative switches gears, focusing on a variety of perspectives. Here the book loses its pace. The other character are fleshed out generic post apocalyptic archetypes. Have the grumpy soldier, a narrow minded doctor, the outsider who cares to much and the guy who will die first. Carey gives enough layers of complexity and meaning to these characters, but they’’re never as full realized as Melanie. I can't say I was invested in them enough for them to live. Except the grump soldier, I did grow to like him and his “I’m too old for this shit’’ approach to helpfulness.
 
The horror here is graphic in it descriptions, painting a world of sombre dread. The book builds ideas on violence, endurance and survive against all the odds to create a vividly post apocalyptic world. Eventually the books narrative and characterisation settles into a predictable pattern halfway in. With the inevitable demise of various characters. However by this point I was engaged enough to be continue reading. The book quests was fairly predictable, except the ending which Carey delivers with both pathos and a sense of detached irony. Carey presents you with hope but it comes at a price, challenging you to think about boundaries and the darker side of our instinct to survive.

3 and a half lonely post apocalyptic waffles out of 5

Knights of Badassdom

In 2011, I saw a trailer that immediately grabbed my attention - Knights of Badassdom. It had a kick-ass title and the trailer seemed to promise a tale similar to Evil Dead but with LARPing. It had everything a fun-loving nerd could ask for: drugs; whiskey; evil book of the dead; and Peter Dinklage in medieval cosplay.

Perhaps anticipation was the biggest factor that killed this movie. After 3 years of broken promises about its release, I was expecting more. What we are left with is a movie that didn't live up to its potential, didn't utilize its impressive cast and didn't deliver any clever or witty dialog.

The main premise is that Joe (Ryan Kwanten from The 6 pack red neck from True Blood ) is dumped by his stuck-up girlfriend Beth (Margarita Levieva). His roommates Hung (Peter Dinklage breakout stars of HBO's Game of Thrones) and Eric (Steve Zahn, once starred alongside Matthew Mcconaughey) promptly pass him a bottle of whiskey and a bong to help nurse his heartbreak. He awakens in full armor at a campsite that medieval reenactors have descended upon for a cosplay extravaganza. While chanting magical poppycock during a wizard ritual, Eric unwittingly summons a demon that takes the shape of Beth and snacks on the hearts of unsuspecting players.

The plot is flat and the characters have very little depth that I ended up creating my own movie while Knights of Badassdom played in the background. Take out John Malkovich from the movie Being John Malkovich and add William Shatner instead. I did have a problem in the second half where I decided that Shatner need to be a shaman because I decided to pay attention to  Knights of Badassdom again and remembered that William Shatner played a Shaman in WOW commercial once. Now I think about it, I would have prefered to watcher William Shatner play WOW for and hour and half instead.

My main problem was that during the movie I just found myself asking too many question about the characters motivations. Why were the redneck paintballers so against the LARPers ? because I don't know. Just seemed like the writer decided to use the cultural shorthand that nerds will always be prosecuted by jocks. Also the editing was dreadful, I rarely notice how a movie is edited. At one point the characters are standing around in daylight then the very next scene its night time.  Honestly there so much about this movie that annoyed me. I cant be bothered writing that long list down. This movie should have been a treat for anybody who's loves playing video games or geek culture. It tried to combine all things geeky to create an cult film and failed. Do yourself a favour and watch the trailer only. Also wonder at the greatest that is William Shatner talking about being a Shaman in WOW.

  a

1 out of 5 the knights of disappointment and waffles

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE MARKED ONES

After watching the latest Paranormal Activity I'm starting to think the evil witch-demon convent are over thinking their recruitment strategy. I'm sure a simple advertisement in the back of a local paper or craigslist would get better results. I have written a draft letter to get them started:


Evil Spirit Looking For Friends To Play With Over Summer.

Lovable yet incompetent teenagers needed to play with possesed "Simon Says" toy, fighting blankets, midnight games of hide and seek with friendly witches and trips to alternative dimension. Contact creepy old lady to find out more.

This approach might be easier than a highly elaborate plan to mark children from birth. It gets even more elaborate when they then have to find and steal said children with the hopes of creating a demon army. I am pretty sure they would have enough emotionally damaged kids that would sign up after reading my ad. After several disappointing sequels Paranormal Activity is back with an offshoot called The Marked Ones. I am not sure how it fits into the series but as a stand-alone movie it is rather dull. Nevertheless the true horror fans will continue to see these movie until the apocalypse starts.

The Marked Ones does suffer from an identity crisis. For some reason more comedic elements have been added to this installment. This really undercuts the horror elements of this movie. We begin being introduced to a new series of characters, Jesse, Hector and Marisol, who prove quite likable as you watch them have do mundane things like surf the internet, do washing and play basketball. Eventually the movie starts to play towards the horror elements with a humorous game of Simon Says with a possessed toy with four colours. When Jesse starts asking "yes or no" questions the demon replies with either pushing green for yes and red for no. They do this 3 times in the movie!! And it is never eerie 

Even the build up to Jesse being possessed feels underwhelming. The movie never really explores his descent into anti-social behavior and borderline sociopath tendencies. They just kind of happen after he's told they will by another marked one. Once Jesse does turns evil they have him disappear until the end of the movie. This conveniently lets Hector and the Marisol figure out how to rescue Jesse with the help of a stereotypical latino gangster. Its a shame the film didn't take a chance with this old and tired formula. This movie could have been a chance to reinvent the franchise. Instead we were given a uneven movie that is more humor than horror. Hopefully the next Paranormal Activity will move beyond the possession plotline and actually bring some demons out to play. I am sure that they will be scarier than more scary flying sheets.
 
1 out of 5 demon possessed waffles

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

 

 

Imagine if your daydreams started taking over your life. For chronic daydreamer Walter Mitty, this is an everyday occurrence. Walter works as a negative-asset manage for Life magazine, meaning he pretty much just looks after photographic negatives in the basement. His daydreams become such a problem that he is almost incapable of holding a conversation with his eHarmony profile advisor or his new boss Ted (Adam Scott).

 

When Walter is unable to find the film negative of legendary photography Sean O’Çonnells (Sean Penn)latest masterpiece for the cover of Life's last news stand issue, Walter becomes the focus of Ted and his arrogant attitude. The worst of it, however, is only in Walter’s imagination. With the help of Cheryl (Kristen Wiig), his workplace crush, he must find the missing negative to save his job and possibly win over the love of his life.

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is probably the best lifestyle-channel-let’s-go-to-Iceland inspirational movie you’ll ever watch. Walter’s 'zone outs' are fantastically humorous, similar to Family Guy’s. They never spiral out of control or turn into incoherent skits that overstay their welcome.

 

As the movie moves forward they eventually drop off as Walter starts to take control and have adventures in his life. The movie joyfully celebrates these moments of accomplishment, treating the audience to spectacular journeys of Iceland’s winding roads and a soccer game in the Afghan mountains. These scenes are all masterfully done with wonderful cinematography and music. Special mention should be made to the soundtrack which, while I haven’t listened to it yet, makes me want to walk into an airport and fly off into the unknown (most likely Iceland).

I do have a few nitpicks (spoilers ahead, I guess).

 

 

Among these, Number One: How amazing Walter’s mobile reception was as even atop an Afghan mountain he was able to get call from Todd, his eHarmoy profile adviser. Number Two: Why did Adam Scott’s beard look like he pasted well-manicured pubes onto his face. Number Three: How convenient the final picture from Sean makes Life magazines final cover match with Walter’s earlier daydreams of him being on the cover. It is not until after viewing the movie and having time to reflect upon it that these nitpicks make it almost feel like the epiphany journey could’ve been fake and in Walter’s head, almost like Ted’s pube-beard was in the Inception movie.

Stiller has crafted a film that punctuates Walter’s transformational journey from daydreamer to life celebrator, without feeling too heavy handed or cheesy. The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty is an amazingly beautiful movie about a man with a very active imagination who finally starts to take some risks and have some hobbit-quests.

4 and a half day dreaming waffles out of 5

The Counselor

The Players- Legendary filmmaker Ridley Scott (Alien) and Pulitzer Prize winning author Cormac McCarthy (No Country for Old Men).
 
Their Mission- To recreate what it would feel like to be stuck in a room with a bunch of philosophy students while Breaking Bad was playing in the background.
 
Their Weapon of Choice- Being nice, polite and well-dressed.

 
THE COUNSELOR is simple story once you look it up on IMDB. A nameless lawyer (Fassbender), madly in love with his fiancée Laura (Cruz), is seeking to provide for her and give her the life she deserves. He decides to get in a once-and-I'm-out deal: namely, to get involved in a venture dealing with twenty million dollars worth of drugs being ferried to the States from Mexico.

Much like Ridley Scott’s other mess of a movie, Prometheus, the script clearly needed be broken down and rebuilt from the ground up in order to function. It felt like putting two very different sensibilities, those of its author, Cormac McCarthy, and its director, Ridley Scott, together and hoping for magic. Instead you discover not even bacon can make broccoli delicious, unless the pig ate the broccoli beforehand.
 
What you get is a whole movie where you just watch a group of decent, polite well-dressed people trying to function like Shakespearean gangsta. As a viewer you feel distanced from the movie because you don't have a clue what is happening or why. I could complain of ponderous dialogue, but the movie didn't really have dialogue. It just felt like people making boring statements. The only interesting moment in the movie is where Cameron Diaz has sex with a car. This was not the awesome kind of interesting, but more the “What the hell did I just watch?”.
 
Never have I wanted to turn my phone on so much in a cinema. Angry Birds has a more engaging story. The vanilla plot ticks over mechanically towards a destination that was never in doubt, while the so called dialogue strives to be profound. You’ll spend more time wondering where these character got there outlandish outfits. The Counselor is just a terrible movie unless you like the idea of seeing good actors do Shakespeare if it was performed by William Shatner.


1 out of 5 well-dressed waffles.

Movie Review- Captain Phillips

What would happen if you took an average sea captain and put him in an extraordinary situation. This is what the plot of Captain Phillips feels like. Tom Hanks is the major star and plays the titular captain as his boat is boarded by Somali pirates and take him hostage. This movie was based on a true event, although I have read they have taken some liberties with the story for the purpose of drama.

This movie begins by following both Captain Phillips and a Somali pirate crew as they each go about their lives. It quickly becomes clear that the movie is portraying them as being on a collision course as the pirates are out looking for cargo ships to make a fortune from and Captain Phillips is captaining one of the said cargo ships. Showing the interactions between Phillips and his crew as well as the vicious way that the Somali pirate becomes the captain of his crew was a good way to highlight the differences between the Americans and Somalians with a very show-don’t-tell policy.

What follows is then a tense encounter between the two captains as Phillips tries to keep his crew safe while the pirates try to find the crew in order to have more hostages to ransom. Phillips achieves his goals through bluffing and his knowledge of the ship, but has to attempt to manage the rising viciousness of the pirate crew as they get more frustrated by the lack of progress in achieving their goals. Eventually the pirate crew make off with the captain as a hostage, and then the United States Navy and the Seals show up. With that, it becomes clear how the skinny Somalian pirates are completely overmatched but have come too far to back out.

This movie reminded me of Argo, and mostly in a good way. This is a movie where the Americans are overpowered and are more focused on staying alive then being action heroes (at least until the climax) and a focus on show-don’t-tell to convey the emotions of the characters and how the plot progresses. There is a tense battle of nerves between the captain and the pirates as both their situations become more and more desperate. The actors used to portray the Captain Phillips, the American crew and the Somali pirates are well chosen and they all manage to convey the emotions that they are feeling.



Overall I found Captain Phillips a highly enjoyable movie. At no point in the two-plus hours of it’s running time did I feel bored as I was caught up in the tension of the crew. From the inevitable collision of the two crews to the climax the film kept a good pace mixing anticipation and suspence-heavy pauses with keeping the plot moving forward.

4 Somalian pirates out of 5.

This Is The End Review

If you've seen Superbad or Pineapple Express then you know the type of humour that is present in This Is The End. This movie is best summarized as Seth Rogen and his SuperFriends at the peak of their comedic skills, which makes it a brilliant apocalyptic meta comedy.

 The plot set-up is that while the world outside foes up in flames, Seth Rogen and his super-friends all take refuge in James Franco's fortress of a mansion. Cabin fever sets in when their supply stocks begin to dwindle. This results in a steady stream of hilarious situations and good one liners. The banter in this film between the actors is sharp and humorous. You’ll find yourself drawn into the conversations and interactions between the actors more than plot itself. The way the characters are reduced to infant children is gold. The interactions between the actors were hilarious and watching some of the biggest players in the comedy world take bites out of each other was amazing to watch. It feels genuinely intimate and  knowing the characters that these people tend to play makes the experience that much more enjoyable to behold.

  

As always, James Franco lends a cool, hip quality to the gross-out humor, Craig Robinson is effortless in his timing and delivery and Jay Baruchel plays the straight man to near-perfection. But it is Danny McBride who steals the show with some of the best lines in the movie. Then there are the cameos by Michael Cera who plays a crack addict and Hermione laying the smack down. I also will not be able to look at Channing Tatum the same way in any other movie I see him in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

However, at the halfway mark of the movie, things do slow down a bit and I found myself getting a little bored. It would have been good if they had more of these cameos throughout the movie to spice things up. Eventually, the SuperFriends leave the safety of Franco’s fortress-mansion. When this happens, the pace of the movie feels like it picks up and it rushes to the end rather quickly.

 

Overall, I enjoyed the hilarious performances and interactions between the characters in this movie. Its use of the biblical apocalypse was great background for a comedy. In the end the movie is all about bro ship with allot of pop culture references, which I totally loved.

3 golden maple surplus drenched waffles out of 5.