MOVIE REVIEW: PARASYTE (2014)

Parasyte is a two-part Japanese science-fiction/body-horror movie. The movie comes in 2 parts and is about parasites, who have come to earth and are taking over members of the population. Their main source of nutrition is, of course, eating people.

Parasyte is kind-of a horror movie. However, it is done in a very campy manner. The aliens aren't aiming to be gruesome, horror-inducing aliens. However, the aliens still manage to bring some elements of body horror more for their psychology and what they are able to accomplish. There are also a few gruesome dismemberment scenes.

Overall, both parts of this movie are good to watch. I can't really say much more without spoiling the movie, but it manages to mostly hit the right notes in terms of timing its comedy against its more darker aspects. The actors are also very good and accomplish their roles. The CGI is also serviceable, despite the green screen being very visible with how they implements things.

Overall, this is a movie I would definitely recommend checking out. Its flaws are minor but annoying, but are overshadowed by their positives. Fans of science-fiction horror will enjoy this movie.

4 out of 5 parasitic waffles.

MOVIE REVIEW: TAU (2018)

What do you get when you start with a pretty interesting premise. Then, in small but painfully abrupt steps, it then proceeds to insert every stupid cliche until the story is mercifully put out of its misery. Well, I am starting the think the answer is pretty much Tau.

Tau is the story of a down-on-her luck girl who is making ends meet by stealing small things and pawning them off. She is then kidnapped and, along with a bunch of other un-missable people, she is subject to experimentation in order to get her brain patterns. Of course, she ends up being a genius.

At some stage in the movie, the actual plot kicks in with an AI being assigned to guard her. She quickly bonds with the AI using the usual cliche's. What is friendship? What is death? What is laughter? Etc. Eventually, due to increasing stupidity from the characters and plot contrivances, things eventually end.

This movie is pretty bad. Bad acting, bad story, bad effects, bad pacing. There is no reason to really watch this. This feels like someones first draft for a story that just got made without anyone considering if it actually makes sense or is even worthwhile watching.

1 out 5 artifical waffles. 

MOVIE REVIEW: JUPITER ASCENDING (2015)

Jupiter Ascending came after a last minute delay to its release schedule. Starring Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis, this movie is a mixture of space-opera and sci-fi. It has the general story about a chosen one just living a pretty underwhelming life in a world full of wonders.

Mila Kunis stars as the titular Jupiter, a Russian immigrant cleaner. However, she is also the exact genetic reproduction (and this believed to be reincarnation) of the former queen of the universe. He (former) children are each trying to find her so that they can trick her to signing away her inheritance. Channing Tatum is a wolf-soldier tasked with tracking her down. However, once he realises he was tricked, he turns into her superhuman protector and general bad-ass.

And that really is the meat of the story. Jupiter is kidnapped a few times, shows increasing agency in not throwing her inheritance away (which would mean the death of the earth as it is harvested for genetic material), and having Channing Tatum do cool stuff with his futuristic technology (such as rocket boots and temporary doorways) to save her. Which isn’t to say it is all bad.

Jupiter Ascending does an admirable job of keeping the movie pace up and not being caught up to much in world-building. It would have been easy for the movie to get stuck on some part of the lore it is building up. However, a couple of action scenes do overstay their welcome and seem to drag out a bit just to show some cool set-piece instead of letting it develop organically.

Overall there is not much to say about this movie. The lore they build up behind the worlds is quite good, the action scenes are also quite good and the character development of Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum is also good. It was entertaining for its 2+ hour run-time, but not too much stuck with me following the end credits. In the past, it is the very definition of an average movie. Today, however, it is a refreshing movie that is not a sequel/reboot/remake and not a superhero movie.

3.5 out of 5 wolf-spliced waffles.

SUMMER WARS

Summer Wars is an oddball mix of science fiction, cyberpunk, teen romance and family comedy/drama, all rolled up into one beautiful, lavish-looking Anime. Also manages to throw in a chilling end-of-the-world scenario and some awkward Japanese teenage romance, just to cover all the bases. Somehow with all these threads scattered around the place it creates a well woven story that’s less confusing than the new transformer movie.


Like most gen y, I love the Internet.How else can I immediately download movies or get in touch with friends in other parts of the world. Having grown up with creepy msn chat friends and spam bots. I now have an irrational fear that the Internet could create the next apocalypse, like the one in Summer Wars. An animated feature from Japan directed by Mamoru Hosoda, whose other effort include The Girl Who Leapt Through Time and Wolf Children. Both of which you should watch.


The movie start of innocently enough, when high schooler Kenji Koiso a maths genius who like most high school geniuses, is shy, uncoordinated, and inarticulate in the area of girls and love. Things become even more complicated for him when Natsuki Shinohara "hires" him to be her fake fiancé to please her ailing great-grandmother at an upcoming family reunion. Because pretty and confident Natsuki doesn’t want her cantankerous great-granddaughter to believe she couldn't find a boyfriend. There, Kenji the meek math nerd is confronted by an overwhelming group of relatives, including a tai-chi-devoted computer genius; a hotheaded uncle with a penchant for revenge fantasies; and the prodigal if unapologetic son, who returns after 10 years in the United States to swill Sapporo and prove he's still a rebel.Cue the family dramatics.

 On one sleepless night, Kenji solves a digit riddle sent to his phone. In doing so, he inadvertently compromises Oz, a virtual world chock-full of rainbows and cutesy avatars. That’s protected by two whale guardians called John and Yoko.

It's also a treasure trove of information. Imagine if Facebook were also a destination for gift-buying, GPS usage, e-mailing, online banking, tax filing, top secret government information. Thus putting millions of people around the world and japan into casual chaos. Seriously felt like people were more annoyed that they could use the internet, then the possible of mass destruction. Probably because this all happens in the background for the first 45 mins. The movie was more keen on retelling The Proposal. But this is anime, so eventually there would be over the top fight scenes.

 The story waivers between a family drama, a romance and an action movie. Found the balance of cheesiness some what endearing. Yet at times ventures too much into the melodramatic and corny. Surprisingly Natsuki family members are alive and brimming with over the top personality, poise and humor, a rarity in most films these days. Especially given how many family member Natsuki has. Really you wait to be transported to Oz. This is where the film shine. Oz is a visual carnival, a brilliant world that spins in midair with all manner of swirly things.The enemy avatar, who goes by Love Machine, also proves to be an entertainingly worthy adversary, with a face like Donnie Darko's rabbit friend and a body like an extra from "300." The humdrum reality of the real world often takes precedence over the nail-biting possibility of imminent apocalypse. Least the time spent with Natsuki crazy family is enjoyable due to their ability to conjure up crazy items, its wacky yet grounded. All come together in the last 30mins and delivers a golden cheese pizza of computer game kung-fu power ups. They even put a magical girl transformation sequence.


I enjoyed Summer Wars it was like a kaleidoscope stuck in a gumball machine. Its pretty yet confusing but you’ll enjoy the time you spending trying to get the fancy toy.


3 out of 5 shiny rainbow waffle warrior

The Girl With All Gifts

The Girl With All Gifts opens just like the title. There's a girl. She seems pretty smart and may well be gifted. Her name is Melanie and she appears initially to be much like any other child. She goes to school, she has a favourite teacher and she enjoys stories. There's just one big difference. Melanie lives in an underground army base. Every morning she is muzzled and strapped into a wheelchair. Along with the other children that live at the base, they’re tested to see what information is retained and understood. Carey tantalisingly drip feeds information, keeping the real truth hidden for a considerable amount of time. You're drawn into the strange world that Melanie inhabits.

Melanie is presents as innocent and alone, struggling to understand the cold and hostile environment she regards as home. Carey controls the reveal skilfully, so when it's revealed, you're already completely sucked into the story and wholeheartedly cheering Melanie on.

Then the narrative switches gears, focusing on a variety of perspectives. Here the book loses its pace. The other character are fleshed out generic post apocalyptic archetypes. Have the grumpy soldier, a narrow minded doctor, the outsider who cares to much and the guy who will die first. Carey gives enough layers of complexity and meaning to these characters, but they’’re never as full realized as Melanie. I can't say I was invested in them enough for them to live. Except the grump soldier, I did grow to like him and his “I’m too old for this shit’’ approach to helpfulness.
 
The horror here is graphic in it descriptions, painting a world of sombre dread. The book builds ideas on violence, endurance and survive against all the odds to create a vividly post apocalyptic world. Eventually the books narrative and characterisation settles into a predictable pattern halfway in. With the inevitable demise of various characters. However by this point I was engaged enough to be continue reading. The book quests was fairly predictable, except the ending which Carey delivers with both pathos and a sense of detached irony. Carey presents you with hope but it comes at a price, challenging you to think about boundaries and the darker side of our instinct to survive.

3 and a half lonely post apocalyptic waffles out of 5

UTOPIA

 Wow? Where did this come from? And why aren't more people watching it?

Utopia it's one of those series that lodges itself into the dark corner of your mind, and it sits there gnawing away at you to watch another episode. Before long its 3am and you have watched the whole thing. Now all you can think about is telling everyone you know about the show so you can debate and converse on the moral ideas and consequence the show brings up.

Utopia centers around a  group of Internet geeks, who are heavily invested in a cult graphic novel called The Utopia Experiments. This novel has gained notoriety for having predicted past global disasters and possible future ones. Beyond the internet forums, a hunt for the cult manuscript is transpiring. Five of its fans then meet in real life to read the fabled, unreleased sequel, and this seamlessly casual meeting puts them in grave danger from a shadowy organization called The Network. 

 The Network operatives are a pair of hit men, overweight Arby and sharp-dressed Lee, who are leaving a trail of dead people in their wake in the pursuit of a  signature question: "Where's Jessica Hyde?" No one seems able to answer this question, but it isn’t like it would save their lives if they did. From there you’re lead down a rabbit hole of Machiavellian plot twists with dire worldwide implications. 

Utopia has such a unique visual style using slightly over saturated colours and many different views, vantage points, colors and contrasts. Almost Kubrick-esque with one-point perspective shots, that give this bleak yet sharp tone its unsettling nature. The series has this constant feeling of menace, isolation and paranoia. It is almost uncomfortable to watch but for the way the plot is revealed in a steady flow.

The characters are wonderfully portrayed and utterly believable. Special credit has to be given to Neil Maskell's portrayal of the overweight 'Arby.’ He plays this darkly comical sad sack and  brings hidden depth to this character that makes you actually start to sympathise with him even though he does some of the worst things you will ever see on screen.

The plot is revealed throughout the six episodes, in true 'Lost' style, with more and more is revealed each time building on what has gone before. Without having to drag you through several season of backstory. Utopia is an amazing show that hit all the right button: Dodgy looking hitman, a secret organisation, political conspiracy theories, some flu outbreak, and a mad scientist to boot.

The 'plot' is revealed in episode 5 and it is as shocking as it is thought provoking. You will find yourself having debates as to its merits with friends and family. I'll say no more about it, but it is brilliant !

5 out of 5 secret cult waffles.