Board Game Review: Tiny Epic Defenders

Tiny Epic Defenders reminds me most of the hero siege-style games that were made popular by the Warcraft 3 custom maps. That is, without the 3-hour play time. From the same developers (Gamelyn Games) who made Tiny Epic Kingdoms, a game which brought a 4x game down to 15 minutes, Tiny Epic Defenders reduces a long, tower-defence style game down by a similar margin.

In Tiny Epic Defenders, you arrange a series of cards to form outlying regions around a capital city. On your turn, you can move your hero around these regions, healing them or defending them from monster attacks. On the enemy turn, the monsters attack the outlying regions and, if destroyed, they attack the city. Once the city is destroyed, it is game over. If you survive long enough for the boss monster to come out and you defeat them, you win.

That is about it. There are a few special rules about which hero you are using or which monster appears, but the mechanics are very simple. And like Tiny Epic Kingdoms, the simplicity doesn't stop the fun. The randomness in the turn order and the set-up gives it replayability and like all good co-operative games, there are never enough turns. From turn 1 or 2 you are started to put out fires for when the hordes eventually build up. And on top of this, when the big boss comes out, you have to deal with even more effects (like moving regions involuntarily at the beginning of your turn).

Tiny Epic Kingdoms takes up to 4 players but can be played solo. It is fully co-operative and players have nothing to gain by not helping your team. And once you survive, you definitely feel a sense of achievement. And if not, well, it only takes 15-20 minutes to play again.

One criticism is that hero abilities and items gained don't really work to differentiate your heroes very much sometimes. Especially if the draw and enemies means that your abilities may be useless for the game. And if you choose to play on hard difficulty, your abilities need to be used to the fullest. Another criticism is that the randomness can feel very unfair. On one turn, all your actions may be towards the start of the turn. Next turn, all your actions at the end. So it is very quick to go from not having many problems to being in a near-hopeless situation. However, to take away these elements is to take away some of the charm.

4 out of 5 Tiny Epic Pancakes that don't fill you up at all.

BOARD GAME REVIEW: PANDEMIC

 Pandemic is a classic board game with a simple goal: save the world from a deadly disease. It is a co-operative  game (at least the vanilla game is) and it is great fun to be a well-oiled machine in disease fighting. Or just have fun while being a completely ineffectual disease control force- the choice is yours.

 Pandemic (sans expansions) pits you against 4 epidemic diseases in a race against time. Played over a world map, each player moves around the board and uses their actions and special abilities to cure the four types of diseases before one of them kills the world. As per all action-management games, you have to decide what to prioritise your actions on as there is never enough time to do everything you want before one of the games lose conditions is satisfied.

 Pandemic is a co-operative game that plays simply but gives you a great sense of satisfaction when you narrowly avoid disaster. The mechanics are easy to pick up and it is easy to guide new players through the first game or two. However, be warned to pick your gaming group carefully. An alpha-player can easily bully players around until there is little co-operation and the game devolves into just one player playing multiple characters.

 In order to succeed, each player has to use their roles to maximise their actions. Once you get the hang of this, there isn't much more to the game. However, what it does it does very well. It is a very good co-operative game and a good introductory game. The expansions add more challenge and complex mechanics once some regular players are ready for it.

 4 out of 5 disease-ridden waffles.

MOVIE REVIEW: LET'S BE COPS (2015)

Let's Be Cops is a 2015 comedy movie that provides a bit of a shake up to the old buddy cop formula. Featuring a white guy and a black guy who are approaching mid-life and are quite disappointed in life, they each experience what it is like to be respected in the community. And once this happens, there is no turning back for them.

The big downside for this movie is that it just isn't very memorable. I can't really recall the names of the characters. One of the characters is a video game designer and the other character a washed-up former highschool football star. After the games designer gets his latest game shot down, they take some leftover police costumes to a costume party.

What follows next is semi-predictable. They like the response they get and the respect when they are walking home in uniform. They then decide to do it more often. Originally it goes well until they get over there heads. What follows is that true cops show that they are the real heroes they are while the main characters help out and find their self worth.

Being predictable isn't bad, however. This movie keeps up the constant laughs without any sudden tonal shifts. The main characters never turn into action heroes and the situational comedy is constant. Every time they get in over there heads, you wait to see it blow up in there faces. Although at the end it takes some liberties for the happy ending, it makes sense in the context of the movie.

Overall, Let's Be Cops is a surprising movie. It was constantly entertaining with a clear story that never tried to be something that it is not. It also earned its happy ending (for the most part).

4 out of 5  Legal Waffles.

MOVIE REVIEW: FAST AND FURIOUS 7

Fast and Furious 7 is kind-of just there as a movie. Fully embracing it's ridiculousness, this movie feels the worse for it. It definitely feels like a step backwards from Fast and Furious 6 because it is missing the earnestly that number 6 approached it's subject matter with.

Fast and Furious 7 features the return of the all-mighty Vin Diesel and is Paul Walkers final Fast and Furious movie (due to tragic circumstances). It goes on to show that some car drag-racers are really the best people for the job of high-level spywork and security operations for some unknown reason. This time they are being hunted by Jason Statham in revenge for them crippling his brother. The Rock is also in there but it feels like an afterthought.

There really isn't too much to say about this movie. It has removed all pretence of restraint to show cars jumping out of planes and between buildings (as shown in the trailers). And it feels the worse for it. The whole movie is that Vin's crew are glorified and are more than a match for a team of international arms dealers and a globally-feared assassin because of their street-smarts.

Fast and Furious 7 falls down because of this. The action scenes may sound impressive but they fall flat as there is no emotional investment in anything. They keep trying to outdo themselves to diminishing effect and the earnestness it used to have is gone. Fast and Furious 6 was surprisingly good as it struck a good balance. Fast and Furious 7 feels competent and nothing more or less.

2.5 out of 5 Drag-Racing Waffles.

MOVIE REVIEW: RAID 2 BERANDAL (2014)

The sequel to the awesome Raid movie, the question was how do you top the original movie. Similar to Dredd, the Raid was about a bunch of police officers who went to raid a crimelords building. Of course, the crime lord found out they were coming and subsequently slaughtered most of them.

The original Raid movie was awesome because of the tight action sequences set in densely packed corridors. It felt like an action game brought to life well, which is no small compliment to the movie. And it managed to do this with a minimalist storyline. Minimalist doesn’t mean bad, however, as the storyline, like the action movie, was a tightly woven story of betrayal and justice as a rookie cop finally succeeds in his mission.

The Raid 2 begins where the Raid leaves off, with the main character, Rama, being recruited to go undercover to root out more crooked cops. Starting off in a prison, we are once again treated to some slick action sequences before the movie turns into a suspenseful crime drama of betrayal and corruption. This story is surprisingly engaging, and it still works on a minimalistic style. There isn’t a wasted detail or scene.

And then there is the finale. The set-up all leads to a showdown as a one-man army of Rama goes through a bunch of gangsters. Every action sequence is unique and brings something new to the table, from introducing cool new characters (such as hammer-girl) or, my favourite, when Rama is escaping from a car.

In short, The Raid 2 lives up and even surpasses the original in several areas. It runs at 150 minutes, but it feels like every line and scene achieved a point. The storyline was more involved without ever feeling bloated, and the action sequences were just as good, or even better than the original as they had allot more freedom in terms of locations and props.

5 out of 5 machete cut waffles.

MOVIE REVIEW: HERCULES (2014)

Hercules is the latest movie starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Based on the legend of Hercules, Son of Zeus, it feels like there was a much more interesting movie hidden away in the story of this movie. Unfortunately, Hercules feels like it is rushed, with several big reveals coming across as formulaic rather than shocking.

The big hook of this movie is that Hercules and his 12 labours are all propaganda for a bunch of mercenaries that Hercules leads. Hercules was once part of the Athenian army and all the labours he accomplished were actually hoaxes (or the like). Hercules than uses his reputation that he gained from these deeds to help him get work until he retires. Added to this is that everyone believes he murdered his family in a “battle-rage”.

And so then we are onto his last job, where he will earn his last amount of gold before he retires to the beach. Of course, things go wrong, he ends up being double-crossed, and he has to prove he is really the legend that the myths make him out to be. Add in a rushed reveal proving his innocence in killing his family, and the movie feels like it has just been going through the motions.

Hercules is a decent action movie. However, I feel like there was a more interesting movie in how Hercules built up the myth of himself. Instead, the movie seems to be trying to be as generic as possible. The twist, the proving of innocence and the big heroic moments all feel like they are being acted off Action-Script 101. It doesn’t do anything special, and all the cool parts in the trailer (Hercules fighting the Hydra and the Boar) are fully shown in the trailer.

At the end of the day, Hercules is a competent action movie. The more fantastical elements or interesting parts of the movie are left by the wayside to produce a generic movie. Hercules could have been so much more special than it was if it was a little less grounded in realism.

2 out of 5 demi-god Waffles.

MOVIE REVIEW: JUPITER ASCENDING (2015)

Jupiter Ascending came after a last minute delay to its release schedule. Starring Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis, this movie is a mixture of space-opera and sci-fi. It has the general story about a chosen one just living a pretty underwhelming life in a world full of wonders.

Mila Kunis stars as the titular Jupiter, a Russian immigrant cleaner. However, she is also the exact genetic reproduction (and this believed to be reincarnation) of the former queen of the universe. He (former) children are each trying to find her so that they can trick her to signing away her inheritance. Channing Tatum is a wolf-soldier tasked with tracking her down. However, once he realises he was tricked, he turns into her superhuman protector and general bad-ass.

And that really is the meat of the story. Jupiter is kidnapped a few times, shows increasing agency in not throwing her inheritance away (which would mean the death of the earth as it is harvested for genetic material), and having Channing Tatum do cool stuff with his futuristic technology (such as rocket boots and temporary doorways) to save her. Which isn’t to say it is all bad.

Jupiter Ascending does an admirable job of keeping the movie pace up and not being caught up to much in world-building. It would have been easy for the movie to get stuck on some part of the lore it is building up. However, a couple of action scenes do overstay their welcome and seem to drag out a bit just to show some cool set-piece instead of letting it develop organically.

Overall there is not much to say about this movie. The lore they build up behind the worlds is quite good, the action scenes are also quite good and the character development of Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum is also good. It was entertaining for its 2+ hour run-time, but not too much stuck with me following the end credits. In the past, it is the very definition of an average movie. Today, however, it is a refreshing movie that is not a sequel/reboot/remake and not a superhero movie.

3.5 out of 5 wolf-spliced waffles.