Movie Review: Once Upon A Time In China (1993)

 Do you hate kung-fu? Do you like when Chinese melodrama gets in the way of good action scenes? Do you like disconnected subplots? Did you enjoy getting lost in a department store without your parents when you were young?

 If you answered some of these questions, thank you for reading this blog. If you answered yes to some of these questions, you desperately need to waste 135 minutes of your life (that is 8100 seconds) watching Once Upon A Time In China. If not, go watch a Jackie Chan movie instead.



 This movie will teach you that Jet Li has dress swagger. And Kung-Fu just relies on a bunch of useless, useless twirling, flips and pulling on ponytails.

 Go get a waffle out of the bin, dust it off, and put it in your DVD player to get more enjoyment, otherwise. For sound, just pour maple syrup in your ears.